I heard the opening guitar riff of She Looks So Perfect. Suddenly, my mind went back to the first Jingle Ball I had attended back in 2015. 5 Seconds of Summer, aka 5sos, had opened the 2015 Kiss 108 Jingle Ball at the TD Garden with “She Looks So Perfect.” Now, 4 years later, they opened their set at the 2019 Kiss 108 Jingle Ball with the same song last night.
Having just lost my mom when the 2015 Jingle Ball rolled around, things were a lot more emotional for me then. Everything felt dramatic, and I was going to a lot of events. In fact, I had just gone to the Bruins in Montreal the night before with a friend and shot straight down to Boston with him that day. It sounds exhausting just thinking about it now, but that is kind of how I was living at the time.
Now, I am in a little different place, but the love of music is the same. I don’t have the money to go to a ton of events, but it has allowed me to appreciate every one a little bit more. Back then, it seemed like it was just a whirlwind of event after event, with each one having less impact.
Other moments brought me back last night as well, like Niall Horan playing “This Town,” bringing me back to the 2016 Jingle Ball and Halsey playing Bad at Love to remind me of the 2017 Jingle Ball.
I do feel a little bit of a letdown today after the concert. Not a huge depression, but a little bit of sadness knowing it is over. I think that is pretty normal. I had looked forward to it for over 2 months when I found out Halsey was going to be the headliner. Of course, I am a big fan of her and coupled with the fact that I had gone the last 4 years, it was a no-brainer for me to go.
I have tried to shift the focus of wanting the next high to appreciating what I have and knowing the next fun event doesn’t have to be a concert or something where you spend money. It could be looking forward to the next run or getting together with family for Christmas.
I have talked to others who have felt similarly to me at times, saying they thought, “what’s next?” after traveling for a vacation or some type of fun event. Yet, that doesn’t mean you always have to ask yourself that question and have an answer right away. I know I will go to another concert again, but I don’t have to have one lined up the second one ends. Not only is it costly, but it can take a toll on your body to go to so many things and travel a lot if you aren’t careful. I know that firsthand.
So what can I focus on? Well, like I said, I can concentrate on looking forward to smaller things in life. Sure, the big and exciting concerts or sporting events will always be there, but I don’t think it is healthy to rely on those too much as a source of fulfillment or purpose in life. Smaller things like getting a nice walk or run in, having a good phone call with a family member or friend, or appreciating a sunrise or sunset may not seem quite so glamorous, but they are what make up life more than going to exciting events.
The memories will always be there from events like the Jingle Ball last night. In times of trouble, I can look back on those and think of how grateful I am that I’ve experienced all the excellent shows I have. The next one may be right around the corner. It may be a few months from now. Who really knows? All I do know is I won’t fret over not knowing exactly when it will be.
Writing Through It 